Mark Reviews: Ted 2

Hey guys, I'm really pissed off. You know why? Because they said my friend Ted wasn't a human and that he isn't allowed to have kids. Why is that you guys? Have you seen how many beers he can drink? There are guys back in Dorchester who would be passed out and he would still be going. And those guys have Irish parents too.

Well, the whole reason we found out that was he wasn't allowed to have kids was because we snuck into All American hero Tom Brady's house to steal his sperm for Ted to have a kid (that's a whole other story and I don't want Ma to read about me breaking into houses because I don't do that anymore to be a good example for Donnie). But, hey, Ted you don't need some football player when your best friend is right here and he's better than any football player. Hell, I'll even play football if you want.

Okay, so maybe that's a photo of me throwing a football at the back of Donnie's head, but it still counts as being an athletic guy. Anyway, I got your back Ted. Your babies will be strong. But hey, what about my troubles? My character's wife left me, so I gotta get back in the game. Luckily, Amanda Seyfried plays a hot young lawyer, so there's always that option.

If you're gonna see any of my movies this year, just make sure it's this one. I had so much fun making it. And if you don't like me, it's an opportunity to see me get covered in semen.

A Million Ways to Die in the West

There does certainly seem to be a million ways to die in the west, as we constantly being told by Seth MacFarlane's Albert Stark. It's as if he needs to remind the audience of this every five minutes, as though we have forgotten the title of the film we bought a ticket to see. It seems as though MacFarlane has invested a lot in this movie, having written, directed, produced and starred in it, and while it's not entirely unfunny, it isn't quite hilarious the entire way through.

But what more can we expect from the man who created Family Guy. Now I don't want everyone to jump to conclusions and accuse me of hating Family Guy (I do love it), but it is a show known for not being consistently funny. The majority of the jokes in the film are lavatorial in manner and that did appeal to the 10 year old in me, but the jokes that referenced classic western comedies appealed to the film nerd in me.

And there are plenty of references to these comedies. Films like Back to the Future: Part III, Django Unchained and the original western spoof Blazing Saddles are all referenced and done well. I even spotted a homage to probably the best western ever made, The Searchers.

One thing I found slightly distracting was the use of modern slang. Now while I can understand using the f-word (I mean Deadwood used much worse words on a regular basis), some of the language seemed out of place. It was almost like there was a deleted scene at the start in which Stark used a time machine to get back to the old west.

There are a lot of fantastic actors in this film as well. It's a shame they are all underused compared with the role MacFarlane has given himself. Charlize Theron and Liam Neeson are both extremely talented actors and are just used as scenery in scenes with MacFarlane. There are a lot of great cameos, including Gilbert Gottfried, Ryan Reynolds and Ewan McGregor. Bill Maher also does a western themed stand up set.

Verdict: Funny, but I feel as though MacFarlane could share around some of the bigger jokes to his co-stars to make a better film.